Notwithstanding, she does compel me to return to my lifelong engagement and pursuit of understanding myself (and others, I suppose) in this world. Heather's irritation with formal religion as a framework within which to pursue these answers is palatable, and as much as it bugs her, it more often incites in me a desire to defend Catholicism. In this, I try to urge her back to the comfort of its framework and the goodness of those parts of the system that honours sacramental commitment, 10 simple commandments, and the ritual of a community of believers who, on their unique journeys and varying states of mind, prevail as committed to the simple truth that is God.
In our deliberations (which may be loud, but are very enjoyable), I seem to always move to that fundamental challenge posed to me by a friend and colleague from Mexico who stated to a roomful of Superintendent-wannabes that, as North Americans, we all need "to get in touch with our deaths."
It is in this simple challenge where I realize that I am constantly trying to find purpose and meaning in my life and not view Catholicism as a social construct (which, arguably, it could be deemed) but as a way - or a path - or a guide - that I must embrace; as, within its framework, it allows me the opportunity, if I continue to search, to transcend the religion and realize a truth that can only come from being in touch with my death. I won't get into this in a blog...so much. I think I'd rather talk it out with Mike, Chris, Mark, Danny and Brian. Philosophers, every one.
I watch as a good friend battles with a brain tumour, another with a diagnosis of lukemia, and yet another, a best friend, who just passed away from heart failure - at the to early age of 55. And I realize what a privilege it is to just be able to engage like this, with my daughter, without the realization of a date-with-death other than the distant notion that, someday, I won't be here.
So, what about our differences of opinion? What about me and Heather? Well, all is good. Healthy. Lively. Engaging. And I have the privilege of being with her on her journey of understanding herself and the world around her - a world that she embraces so differently than most others - one that withstands any and all judgment, because, like you, and me, and all of us...she'll come to terms with her own death, too.
In her own way. In her own time. And it may be entirely something that I won't understand. But that okay.
It is what we all share. We are all going somewhere. So best to just love and respect each other on our journeys.
"listen: there’s a hell
of a good universe next door; let’s go"
- e.e. cummings -
Paul
